Nostalgia - A Place

Everyone knows the feeling. A place you've been every summer. I place that brings back the best memories and thoughts and emotions. A place where you feel loved, wanted, and feel free to love to the fullest. For me that place is the beaches of the town of Charlevoix in Northern Michigan.

The best part about this place is that it is family oriented and comes with a tad of history. My mother's dad was a Volks Wagon dealership owner, the first in Michigan actually, so you could imagine his success. He bought a lake-house right on Round Lake, a boat, and a limo to get his 6 kids 3 hours north up to the lake-house, which inevitably turned into "The Cottage". The limo had nothing to do with the money, and everything to do with a clever way to get all his children from one place to the other with as little complaining and trouble as possible. Seems like a pretty cool idea - good thinkin gramps, right up my alley.

Now these are all stories and tails that are heckled over during holidays when my aunts and uncles gather, so I don't actually know if the limo really was a good idea. But all I know is my whole life, and still now, it sounds like a majestic life they had growing up. These stories add to the love and the emotion that is involved when I visit The Cottage. As a kid, it was just a place for me to have fun. Now it's a place where I find peace, serenity, and love.

You don't take any boyfriend to the places that causes nostalgia, you take "the one" to it. Once you enter into the amazing world that is your nostalgic place, the gates of your heart open up for everyone to see who you really are, and how you came to be. It is the ultimate vulnerability. And I am so grateful to be able to have the opportunity to be at my place once again.

Cousin Sandwich

Living in Indianapolis has opened up new emotions to me that I never knew I had. I never thought I could be homesick, or miss someone to the extent that I do now. I don't want to say I took my family and friends in Michigan for granted, because I didn't. I tried to love everyone the best I could when they were near me. 22 years I spent in MI building relationships, growing, and finding myself.

Just when I felt I had caught my bearings with finding true friends and balancing my family, I moved five hours away. In this city, I am completely rebuilding and re-connecting with friends to find the comfort and solidity that I use to feel when I was five hours north. The reason it effects me now more than ever is because I have been here for an entire year. I have been here long enough where my friendships from home have loosened their grip, and I simply cannot communicate with my family enough. In the meantime here in Indy, I have not spent enough time here to have made lifetime friends. The friends that are going to where all my clothes and surprise me with bottles of wine after work. Those are the friends I had, and those are the friends that I want. I would be lying if I said it hasn't been a struggle, but I am hopeful.

I do not believe that my boyfriend JJ and I have crossed paths for no reason. I can truly say he is my everything. He is my clothes sharer and my wine bottle giver. Not only has his friendship made this life transition easier on me, he has opened up a new world of family and friends for me to lay back on by default.

Skidz wizdom: I am stubborn and feel I need to find my own friends. JJ is helping me pull back a shell and learn to lean on him.

We took a trip this weekend to Louisville, KY for his cousin's wedding. We gambled at Churchill Downs and then gambled again at The Horseshoe Casino. Again I was surrounded by new faces and a few acquaintances from JJ's family. I have to be honest it is hard to completely open up and act like your are buds with everyone when you can only remember about 5 names. It's an interesting feeling. Probably more uncomfortable than anything. It's tiring to just suck it up and laugh at stories you don't know about jokes you don't understand. There comes to a point when you want to actually be part of the story and make the joke.

Just when I had started feeling alone this weekend, JJ had reminded me to stay patient. I am working through the fact that time is at the essence, and nothing can be forced. After his loving sort of 'slap in the face' I had found myself building relationships the very next day that I had been wishing for. I saw a glimpse of the potential friendships blossoming into something greater. It really put me at ease and allowed me to take control of my thoughts and emotions and open up a bit. And it felt great.

After a wild night on Fourth Street in Downtown Louisville, I had woke up the next morning in a cousin sandwich with JJ and his cousin Olivia in our king sized bed. I am positive Olivia and I danced together more than me and JJ, and I'm into that. It's an awkward way to come upon a realization, but I truly felt part of the clan for once. A cousin sandwich was what I needed.

I never really thought that I would need help finding strength. My independence has taught me and carried me through my life. Listening and learning from JJ's knowledge and strength has allowed me to heal quicker and breathe deeper. I am the luckiest girl in the world.

+J.J. Yarbrough +Sarah Craddock +Megan Wallace +Shannon Kaweck +Elizabeth Camp +Molly Korn +Tyler Schroll +Kelly Toskey

Friends, Family, or Both

This weekend I went back to Michigan to see all the friends I consider family back at MSU. The people who are back in East Lansing are truly my family. The provide me with comfort and a sense of belonging. Some of these lovely individuals I hadn't seen in a year or two. Some it has only been about four months or so. It is a lovely reminder to know that you are never alone. I get an uncanny notion of comfort thinking I'm "alone", which allows me to travel and meet to new people with ease. But I will never forgot the people who have grown with me and made me who I am today.

When making trips up North, I usually do as much driving to see as many people as possible. It's hard to go to Michigan and not run up a couple more hours in the car to see my mother, but to be honest, it was refreshing and smart. Whenever I travel I have found that I spread myself as thin as possible to cover as much ground as possible. This doesn't allow me to spend a decent amount of time with certain people and is detrimental to the growth and maintenance of a friendship. The hard part is WHERE to spend all my time. I love them all :).

On the back-burner... there has GOT to be a road bike my size out there. I am looking for a miracle.