Absence

While I will be absent in the lives of all the people that I love for the next four months, their presence will always be in my mind.  The notion of absenteeism has been jingling around in my curiosity bank for quite some time now. Of course I had to do a little bit of research behind the meanings and affects of leaving for long periods of time on humans and their feelings.

I've found myself caught in a deeper love than I ever thought I would allow myself in this moment in my life.  For the past three years I've almost refused to let people in.  Giving myself up to another person was just unacceptable to me in order to accomplish the goals that I had for myself.  But here I am doing what I've always wanted to do and I've never felt more excited and more supported than ever.  I like to think of it like this: John and I both have rockets under our asses.  We are both filled with passions and visions and goals and we both have the work ethic to reach them (right Bear?).  Once we met each other, both of our single baby rockets were bound together and have caused us, our minds, and our work ethic to shoot into hyper-speed-mode.  That's how he makes me feel. Like I'm rocketing in to space in frickin HYPER-SPEED-MODE!

Realizing that this love is deeper than anything I've ever experienced, absenteeism has scared me.  But then I came across this analogy...

Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.

If anyone is wondering, I am eating this shit right up with a spoon. A little spoon. :)

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